I am Bob

The Lit performance thing on Thursday was really cool! It was great fun :) Though we rushed our script at the last minute, I still thought that it was great :) Brownie points go out to Lynn's great acting skills and improv. And a shout out to the rest of the VIKINGS!!! Great job guys! Woo-hoo! Well, just to say, the "Bob the builder" line was actually borrowed from the musical We Will Rock You. (That musical is fantastic!) So it wasn't original or anything... I am no script-writing genius... Also, we only added the fact that Bob was a blonde so that we could have the Gold casket quote in there. So for those who realised, it kinda clashes with the fact that Elvis has black hair... We didn't have time to change that... Anyway, here's the script with slight editing. I removed the Bob line in case it was copyright or anything and some of the parts that didn't work out...:
Narrator: At a carnival, Shylock skips in merrily, brushing his beard and says to the pink candy floss in his hand…
(Lynn skips in, pretends to brush beard and says)
Shylock: O my beloved candy floss. I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and gay! (The candy floss was someone’s pink umbrella).
(I walk in a bump into Lynn and the Candy floss falls out of her hand.)
Shylock: O father Abram, what these Christians are, my candy floss! O my ducats, O my Christian ducats! Justice! The Law! Against this cut-throat cat! He and his shaming blood, pray see they be spilled!
Bob: By the bible, love thy neighbours, so I say, forgive me.
(At the same time, Lynn kneels onto the ground and mourns over her candy floss.)
Shylock: What mercy should I render when thou deserv’st… none?
Bob: If it pleaseths you to forgive me.
Shylock: Only over my Jew corpse with ducats by my side. Dang, did I dream of money bags last night.
Bob: By my love I swear, the quality of mercy is not strained. We do pray for mercy and that same prayer doth teach us all to render the deeds of mercy. I have spoke thus much to mitigate the justice of thy plea. Thus, forgive me.
Shylock: (Aside) How like a fawning republican he looks. I hate him for he is a Christian. (To Bob) Now get me my candy floss, now a strain of dirt or dust should lie within this web of gentle fleece or I’ll shave your Elvis-like hair off!
( I do the "smoothening-hair" move and the Elvis Presley Saturday Night Fever Boogie move (:)
Bob: Oh no! Not the hair!
(Yu Qing and Yumin come into picture)
Old man: All that glisters is not gold, often have you heard that told.
Old lady: Alakazam, Alakazoo! That is blonde, not gold you fool!
Shylock: What difference is there?
Old lady: The spelling…
(Everyone looks at Rashvin, private joke. Lol!)
Old man: Here, take this candy floss. Can you share it with me? (Yu Qing picks up the same pink umbrella and offers it to Lynn who declines.)
Shylock: No, I will buy with you, sell with you, talk with you, walk with you, but I will not eat with you, drink with you, nor pray with you, let alone share my candy floss. An oath! An oath! I have an oath in heaven! Shall I lay perjury on my soul by refusing his hair? No! I refuse! I decline to take this offer!
Old lady: Double, double, toil and trouble, potion boil and cauldron bubble, I have no choice but to bring, this magic book I picked from the bin.
(Takes out the book, which incidentally is the Merchant of Venice, and throws it onto the floor. Ouch!)
Narrator: The book trembles and Portia pops out of the book.
Portia: Give me what I want, what I really, really want. (Pause and surveys audience) Oh, good day. You can call me Portia.
Old man: Ah! My eyes! My eyes!
Portia: I am Portia, Portia the doctor, Portia, the lady, wife of Bassanio, Portia.
Bob: Oh, they call me Bob.
Portia: Yes, well… I am informed thoroughly of the cause…
Shylock: I crave Justice O learned Judge!
Portia: Why is it his hair you crave for? The quality of mercy is not strained…
Narrator (cuts in and says): And she goes on and on and on and on… (Well, this was a mistaken cut in but it still worked out quite well… Nicely done Sarah!)
Shylock: Tell me not of mercy! I will not hear of it! I will have his hair! I am very glad of it – I’ll plague him; I’ll torture him. I am glad of it.
Portia: I repeat, the quality of mercy is not strained…
Narrator: (cuts in again) And she goes on and on and on and on, again.
Portia: And therefore, I shall banish you back to where you belong!
(Opens the book in front of Lynn)
Shylock: Hate’s any man the thing he would not kill? I will get your hair! If it will feed nothing else, it will feed my revenge! Ahhh!
(Lynn runs headlong into the book.)
Narrator: ( I think we omitted out this part) Portia pulls Shylock into the book
She may as well do anything most hard
As seek to soften that – than which what’s harder? –
His Jewish heart.

Members of the Cast (in order of appearance):
Sarah - Narrator
Lynn - Shylock
Me - Bob (the blonde)
Yu Qing - Old Man
Yumin - Old Lady
Angela - Portia

VIKINGS UNITED! <3

Love the spaghetti idea Sarah!